Maybe It's Time to Give It Up

I ran across an interesting book the other day and checked it out from the Children's Center at the library: It's Time to Give Up Your Pacifier. Again, the blogging part of my brain kicked into gear, as I thought about some of the things we grownups cling to and just haven't been able to give up. Like children, we may have "pacifiers" that keep us busy or "security blankets" that comfort us, which we long since should have outgrown!

* An old argument: "I know I was right, I don't care what anybody says."

* A learned prejudice: "My daddy didn't trust . . . lawyers . . . or anyone from [wherever] . . . or the government . . . [or you name it], and so I don't either."

* A childhood resentment: "My parents always favored my brother . . . my sister . . . the youngest . . . the oldest . . ."

* A disagreement from long ago: "Ever since the church business meeting in '98, she has never spoken to me."

* A sense of entitlement: "I've worked hard all my life and made my own way, and now I deserve . . ."

* An exaggerated forlornness: "No one cares. No one ever calls. Not my parents . . . or my children . . . or the pastor . . . or [whoever] . . ."

* A distrust of others' good will: "Don't count on anybody's help if you're old . . . you're female . . . a minority . . . disabled . . . unemployed . . ."

* An unfounded suspicion: "I've always wondered why she . . . I'll bet she is . . ."

* A smoldering anger: "Every time I hear about [whatever], I get soooo mad!"

* A perceived injustice: "Things never work out for me. I never get to . . ."

* An envious excuse: "Some people get all the breaks."

* And perhaps the most common of all, the helpless and hopeless, "I can't."

Some of these may seem silly—especially the ones that are not about you or me!—but they are real to the people who own them, as real as Emily's or Anthony's or Chloe's pacifier. These feelings and attitudes console us, making us feel better about ourselves as we regard other people with less grace. The book said that growing up means finding new things to make you happy.
Bye-bye, "pacifier." Maybe it's time just to give it up!

Marjorie