What Price Cleverness?

Some people have an incredible need to show off, to create shock, or to be considered funny. It can start very early, as most parents know. The youngster, sans diaper, prances through the living room where company is sitting. The college student takes distinct pleasure in rattling the professor with some inane question. The jokester always tops the last story.

Several incidents coming to my attention recently have reminded me of this. A singer/stand-up comedian made several insensitive, even vulgar, comments in an interview. Facing the ensuing firestorm, he apologized at length, very publicly, saying that in his quest to be clever, he completely forgot the people that he loved and that loved him. Thinking that if he could just continue to pull together fast witty phrases, he would be clever enough that no one would pull him up short for his bratty behavior. He was wrong.

The leader of a women's group contacted the husbands or sweethearts of some of the women and asked them to write a letter of love and affirmation to their loved one. These were to be sent to the leader ahead of time, and the women would open their letters at the meeting. A few letters were read aloud, with touching sentiments of appreciation and devotion. But one woman's letter said, "You are more precious to me than a tree full of sparrows, more fun than a basketball, and I wouldn't trade you for a truckload of turkeys!" Clever? Maybe for fifth grade.

This happened awhile ago, but I ran across a video connected to another story. The comedy site is meant to appeal to college students—and maybe that's why I didn't find it hilarious. A prankster arranged to have a fake marriage proposal displayed on the JumboTron during a game at Yankee Stadium. The supposed husband-to-be and the young woman accompanying him were not amused. His bewilderment was real and so were the couple of slaps she gave him before she stomped off. People, perhaps especially women, take marriage proposals seriously and don't want it to be a joke in front of thousands of people. Was it really that funny? (Even the perpetrator said afterwards, "I'm feeling kind of bad.")

If you are the one trying to be clever, be very careful that your performance is not at the cost of someone else. If someone is hurting you by trying to be clever, tell them how you feel and ask them to stop.

If one's words have substance, they don't need to be surrounded with pretense.

Marjorie